The second situation took place when I was with my boy at a playground. My son was driving around in his car and other kids and their mothers were in the vicinity, stuck to their children as if they were their shadows, taking care of everything in their name. I was sitting on a bench watching my son. One mother kept approaching my son, telling him to give her child his toy car, because he had already been “playing with it for too long.” This wasn’t a valid argument in my son’s eyes. The woman finally yanked her child away and took him from the playground.
Why didn’t I run to my son and immediately tell him that he has to share? Because I believe that he doesn’t have to. Do we adults share? If somebody comes up to you when you’re standing at a bus stop and says that you have a cool phone, but that you’ve had it for too long and that you have to give it to them, do you give your phone away? The adult world doesn’t work like that. Later we only have problems with teenagers, who think that they deserve everything. We teach them that ourselves.
We give children everything they want without a reason and quickly, because they’re impatient. And then we regret it because when our older children enter adulthood, they cannot cope with the fact that they don’t deserve everything and that they won’t get what they want instantly and effortlessly. It’s time to teach children that they’ll get what they want, but only if they’ll be patient and work hard for it.